by Delia Nessim
It’s fascinating to observe how family life has evolved over time. Families in the 1950s and ‘60s were quite conservative with rules and limits. A teenage boy with long hair was considered radical. The ‘70s was the era of rebellion—teens wore long hair, attended protests and used mind-altering drugs. Each of these eras posed unique challenges to the parent-child dynamic.
The excessive use of electronic devices is the parental complaint of our times. It affects kids of all ages; even toddlers seem to intrinsically know how to use many devices. Video screens do a great job of keeping kids quiet and happy for many hours. What parent doesn’t want to make their kids happy?
However, what really makes kids happy is getting not what they want, but what they need. And what they need is what we all need: acceptance, affection, appreciation, approval and attention. We cannot do that when our heads are buried in a screen.
When we set limits on technology time and pay attention to feelings, we know and sense that something is missing. We need to feel the warmth of a long hug. We need to gaze into our children’s eyes and see their souls and accept them on a deep level. We need to really listen attentively to their words and the feelings behind them.
We are lucky to have practical therapeutic tools and practices, such as EFT, that can help open up this communication and bring intimacy back into family life. Let’s start today.