Quite often change is brought about by pain. Our minds supply us with all the justification we need to stay stuck. I know from personal experience how hard change can be. Even good change can be hard to see as good. Thinking of the future can be so scary that hope is hard to find. Often our thinking generates only the bleak side of endless possibilities. So we push back, consciously or subconsciously, to resist change. We dig in our heels to protect our lives as they are. Even in extreme circumstances such as domestic violence, dysfunctional relationships, drugs and alcoholic abuse, we often will protect what is “normal” in our world and resist change. We also protect the thinking that created our life’s situations. What a paradox—the mind battle of wanting change and resisting at the same time. In our heart of hearts, we know what to do. We hope for change, yet are frozen. We think we are unable to change. How could we know it was our thinking that was wrong?
At the base of all this resistance to change lies fear. I have no tangible evidence for this hypothesis; living and listening have been my teachers. While everyone is different, shaped over time by a multitude of life experiences, I suggest fear of the unknown to be at the root of the battle against change. It was for me.
When it was brought to my attention that my thinking was all wrong, that I needed to learn how to think properly to restructure, reframe and redesign my thinking, I shook my head. Really?! I thought I was pretty smart, knew a lot, a little bit ahead of the curve—yes, I was a know-it-all. How wrong I was! For me, the light bulb went off when I realized that “my best thinking got me into this mess.”
This tiny bit of light opened the door to recognizing that I alone had to make a decision to change. When I first heard that my happiness was my responsibility, that I was totally in charge of my thinking, that I was responsible for my feelings, emotions, and I alone was responsible for bringing change into my life, I didn’t like it. But slowly, I learned how to change my thoughts. To think positively, to see the good in everything, to not judge people, to develop empathy, compassion, to think of others, to slow down and let myself think. I do not suggest that I have mastered this skill, but I am now aware of the need to think properly.
We at Natural Awakenings strive to be a vehicle for good change on a personal, community, world and planetary level. I feel privileged, and hope I carry positive change to others. My wish for everyone is to embrace change. If you’re stuck in a bad situation do not try to do it alone—that was my mistake. Remember, there is a community of helping hands, ready and waiting to help you change. Reach out to them; achieve the changes you need. Build that life you deserve.
Let me close with this quote by John Wooden: “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
In peace, love and laughter,
Joe Dunne, Publisher