I’m always amazed at the amount of time we devote to criticizing ourselves. It seems to me we give this cranial activity way too much power. Our areas for self-criticisms are usually quite predictable—the ways we have somehow failed to be perfect in social interaction, parenting, work and public image.
Why is it so important to us that we present this perfect person? Certainly, some things are worth striving for, and the journey toward achieving a great outcome can bring out the best we can be. There is much merit in doing things right and holding ourselves accountable. But “perfect” is a hard and often impossible expectation. It always leads to dissatisfaction in self. And expectations don’t end with ourselves… they expand to include others. We are often harsh to those we should be nurturing the most, expecting them to be perfect. But the perfection we demand is not “their” perfect, it’s “our” perfect. Continue reading